


Waiting in Q

by fabricdragon



Series: Possession shuffle [2]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack Treated Seriously, Demonic Possession, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, the demon Craig
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:55:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22625185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabricdragon/pseuds/fabricdragon
Summary: Most people met the Double 0 agents and backed up very slowly until they could run.  Most people took one look at the level of mayhem in Q branch and either ran screaming or fainted. of course most people haven't spent the last few years possessed by a demon, so...Title from the pun on the computer idea of  a job  "waiting in queue"- you can blame my hubby for that one.
Relationships: James Bond/Q, Q & OC
Series: Possession shuffle [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618753
Comments: 64
Kudos: 80





	1. History

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Only_1_Truth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Only_1_Truth/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Craig Moriarty didn't have the right ring to it](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22499080) by [fabricdragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabricdragon/pseuds/fabricdragon). 
  * Inspired by [Noster nostri](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22102999) by [Only_1_Truth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Only_1_Truth/pseuds/Only_1_Truth). 

_ Many years ago: _

The last thing he remembered was being at the party… he looked around in confusion. The room he was in was… well… uh… it had stone walls? And stone floors? And it was damp and there were boxes and shelves sort of randomly shoved up against the wall and… uh…

Bodies

He finally forced his mind into gear and admitted that those people scattered all over the floor around him were not just “passed out”: they were dead.

He somehow got to his feet and got enough clothes- and why was he naked?- and managed to get out of there…

He was almost home when he heard a voice groaning, “Fuck me! What did they do to that ritual!?”

That… was in my head?!…

“Uh oh… Hi?”

_ Not as many years ago: _

“Get UP!”

“Craig! For Christ’s sake! Let me sleep in for once?!”

“Pfah! Like that guy has any pull with me? I’m Babylonian!”

Q slowly opened an eye and frowned at the daylight making its way past the curtains. “You were Akkadian last month, why Babylonian this month?”

“Akkadian is overdone- they used it in the trashy movie i watched overnight!”

“No wonder I’m tired…” He muttered, “I don't need to get up early today- leave me alone.”

“Well, Okay? But i thought those guys trying to break in were-”

“What?! What guys!?”

Craig, rather archly, “I was TRYING to tell you….”

He grabbed his bag and went out the window, but there were people at street level…  _ oh hell _ …

“Uh… want me to kill them?” Craig sounded dubious.

“No, or not yet- too many of them and they look too official…”

“Put the bag down,” one of the suited men said firmly, “and put your hands on your head…”

...

He’d been offered a job, or rather, he’d been told he was going to work for MI5 or going to jail: he chose the job and almost immediately regretted it.

_ A year after that... _

“I’d be out on parole by now,” he grumbled as he was forced to work with this ridiculously kludged together outdated monstrosity they called a computer network.

“Well, yeah,” Craig agreed, “Assuming you didn't kill anyone in jail.”

“Assuming YOU didn't kill anyone in jail,”

“Kinda stuck with me,” Craig shrugged, “so…” he brightened up, “I could TOTALLY break you out of jail though!”

“If i had computer access i could break myself out of jail, Craig.”    
“So? Break out of this one?”

“If i delete my existence in the MI5 servers there are still too many people here that would remember me; we discussed this.”

Craig just grumbled about killing them all, which was his usual response when he didn't know what to do, so he went back to work, and then when he finally fixed THAT problem he went back to his house.

That was the one plus to having been caught; since he wasn’t trying to hide anymore he’d been able to buy a house.

He needed one.

In addition to having more room for all his computer and gaming things, it had room for the increasingly arcane- in every sense of the word- books that they were buying to try to figure out what had happened.

Craig didn't know what those idiots back when they woke up together had been trying to do, or what they’d gotten wrong, but they were well and truly stuck with each other. Apparently under normal- for Craig- situations where he was possessing someone, he at least could choose to leave at any time.

Except this time he couldn't.

At first he’d been afraid that Craig would kill him if he finally did get loose, but by this point they’d gotten used to each other. Craig had to admit he wasn't that bad a host body, even if it was weird to be, you know, talking to him, and he had to admit that Craig probably worried more about his health than he did.

Once Craig had figured out that he needed sleep, and food, and all those other things he’d become quite the stickler about it: it was oddly as if the slovenly roommate occasionally popped in and reminded you to eat your vegetables.

Which was why it was very odd to be woken out of a sound sleep by Craig…

“Hey… hey! I figured out how you can break out of jail!”

“Wrrr?”

“DUuUuude! Wake up! I figured out how to get us out of this crummy job!”

He dubiously rolled over and looked at the clock, “Craig? It's… it's three in the morning…”

“I FIGURED out how to get us OUT!”

“Out of Mi5?” he shook his head and tried to wake up a bit more, “If this involves killing all the witnesses we already discussed-”

“No! No seriously! It's great! We don't even have to kill anyone!... I mean we can… but you usually get kind of grumpy?”

“Ok, how do we get out of the job from hell, without being thrown in jail or killing anyone?”

“You get into the computers and get us transferred!”

“Transferred?”

“YEAH! Everyone at MI5 may know you’re on, like, parole, but the people at the new job don’t need to know, and… let's be honest my squishy friend; it's gotta be an improvement.”

“I’m at MI5 in lieu of JAIL Craig.. I can’t just transfer to any place!”

“Duh? So you get us transferred to MI6!”


	2. Meet the New Boss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beginning at MI6

Mi6 was a drastic improvement. Their computer systems were evolved somewhat beyond ‘two tin cans and a string’, most of the people knew what they were doing, and the dress code- as long as it wasn't a meeting- was relaxed. 

The pay wasn’t quite as good, but you couldn’t have everything.

“Squishy, dude, c’mon! The computer system will still be here, but the bookstore is gonna CLOSE…”

“Craig,” He actually muttered and then switched to talking in his head, ‘Craig, if you want us to keep this job we have to put in the work. And PLEASE stop calling me squishy?’

Craig set up a running chant of “Squishy, squashy, ooey, gooey, humans aren’t much fun!” it went on from there sometimes… usually about bones, food, and internal organs.

He ignored him: after a year or two of being possessed he’d had to get good at ignoring him- or appearing to- but it did mean he sometimes didn't hear outside voices. A hand landed on his shoulder and he jumped.

“Are you actually DEAF, young man?”

He looked up into the face of M herself and swallowed, “no, Ma’am- i was just concentrating and… i learned to tune out all the conversation around me…. Uh… sorry ma’am.”

“Since you appear to be the only one in this section, i need some computer matters explained: what’s your clearance?”

Craig had gone quiet, which was usually a bad sign, and he carefully answered, “Fairly high ma’am…” he didn't mention that he’d been raising it quietly in steps because more access to the computers was useful to them personally.

She handed him a thumb drive. “There is a threat on this and thus far no one has been able to get anywhere with it.”

“Threat?” he put it into the system and opened it up… 

Craig rather cheerfully said, “ I like her, she’s scary!”

‘Yes, she’s terrifying,’ he muttered in his head while he was poking at the video, the message and …

“Ma’am? M?”

“Yes?”

“There are a few artifacts of the routing that are pretty peculiar… has anyone traced those? Or looked into them?”

“No one has mentioned them to me, no.”

He turned back to the computer and set to work, after a bit he remembered someone was standing there- probably one of the junior people- and muttered, “Can you get me a tea? Extra cream…” For some reason Craig was snickering but he just kept ignoring him.

…

“THERE you are you sneaky bugger!”

“There what is?”

“He routed it through a really odd site- and its less secure than most so that means he probably HAD to route it through there, which puts him somewhere in here…” he pulled up a map and highlighted the region.

“Thank you, that's extremely helpful. Send that information to this computer,” they slid a card with an internal address on it, “Go get some sleep- and some food i suspect- and I’ll give you more access tomorrow: good job.”

He looked up blinking to see M walking out of the room. “Wow…”

Craig burst into outright giggles.

“What’s so funny?”

“Where’d the tea come from dude?” Craig chuckled using his hand to pick up the nearly empty tea cup.

He started to say, ‘one of the interns,’ when the realization hit him…

“I… asked M… to fetch my tea?”

Craig cackled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes its a short chapter but that seemed like the natural break point.


	3. Squishy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW for canon compliant terrorism (not expressly detailed)

He slunk in to work the next day hoping that being useful outweighed asking M- the terrifying woman who caused department heads to run off scurrying- to fetch his tea…

Apparently it did.

“I have no idea what you did, or how you did it, and I don't want to know…” Q’s assistant R handed him a new ID badge.

He stared at it…”That’s a two paygrade jump?”

“Lalalala,” R said firmly, “Can’t hear you. Go get to work: apparently the Dragon herself left you an assignment.”

_ They used a lousy picture _ , Craig said casually in the back of his head.

He tuned him out and got to work… it was more of the same anonymous messages, plus a few…  _ oh, uploaded videos… _ He fell into tracking and teasing out clues, only occasionally pausing when Craig insisted he eat something.

“Am eating.” he mumbled as he chewed on something.

_ Biscuits don’t count. _

“Do too”

_ Send someone to get you real food or i walk our body right out of here and get food. _

_ … you would, wouldn't you. _

_ Yup. _

He sighed and flagged down an intern. “Can you go get me some take out?”

“Yes, sir. A few of us were heading out to get food anyway.”

He handed off the ‘will and won’t eat’ list and went back to the code. He had just managed to plant a tracking program when there was a very loud noise and then…

Nothing.

…

_ Squishy? _

_ Errgh? _

_ OK, listen up… this is gonna hurt… ah… sorry? _

_ Wrr? _ And then PAIN! Ohjesusgodwhatinthefuckmakeitstop- 

he could vaguely hear himself scream and then the pain faded away leaving a… a memory like a struck bell in his nerves.

He took a deep breath and tasted concrete and… blood?

_ ...what happened, Craig? _

_ There was an explosion…  _ Craig ‘sounded a bit embarrassed,  _ I didn't see anything coming- dunno how i missed it- you got buried in the rubble with everyone else. _

_ Everyone...explosion?... am i… am i dead? _

_ Well.. you kinda were? But luckily I’m a bit tougher than you are. _

_ Squishy… right…  _ he tried to sit up and…  _ Craig? _

_ Yeah? _

_ Can… why… uh… I can't move? Also it's dark… _

_ Right, well… right now you're kind of buried in rubble. I was more focused on putting your ribs back on the right side of the squooshy parts of you. _

He forced the panic down.  _ Do we have air? _

_ Oh! Uh… yes! Kind of… yeah? _

_ Kind of… _ he’d rub his forehead if he could move.  _ We need to either get unburied, or… at least stay safe until the rescue crews can get to us. _

_ Hmmm… gotcha… maybe… maybe you should just nap for a while, ok? I can keep the body going a lot easier and work on shifting a few of these things without dropping them on you again. _

He resolutely did NOT think about the word ‘again’.  _ Sure thing Craig… i trust you to get us out. _

_ … I swear I fixed the bash on the head first… _

….

He woke up to a bright light… well it seemed bright… and the startled face of what he presumed was a rescue worker.

“He’s alive! We got a survivor!”

After that there was a lot of noise and chaos, and he mostly begged them to stop making so much noise… and for water… his throat felt raw and his voice was raspy.

There was a lot of motion and more noise and then he was in a hospital…

“Ma’am, he’s lucky to be alive you can’t-”

“Out of my way.”

He opened his eyes a crack, “Can you get them to turn down the lights?”

The lights dimmed. He vaguely made out M standing there- she looked a bit bruised and battered but she was standing up…

“Should you be-” he meant to say ‘out of bed’ but didn't get the chance.

“No. You are an extremely lucky young man.”

“Did… anyone else make it?”

Craig quietly said  _ no _ . but M said, “Apparently a number of junior people were out getting food- they survived: it's also why we suspected you might have survived- there was a hollow space in the area you had been reported in.”

_ Oh, yeah… if they weren’t there…  _ Craig nodded.  _ No one in the area lived. _

He tried to lift his head and heard M telling the medical people to sit the bed up…

“I… ma’am… I planted a tracer…”

“What?”

“I had… just planted a … tracer program… on your project.. Right before…”

Her eyes went wide for a moment and then very narrow, “Do you think it worked?”

“...Won’t know until I get a computer?”

“Are you able to work?”

“Probably?”

“I’ll get a computer brought in. Incidentally I am promoting you to Q- its a temporary appointment until i can get everything sorted: do a good job and it will be permanent.”

“Me?”

“You were the only survivor in Q branch, young man, and… right now i am having it brought home to me how much we have neglected the computer side of things.” she nodded and walked out- he noticed a man standing by with a wheelchair, which she ignored.

They brought him a computer and then it FINALLY hit him why everything was so blurry… 

“I don’t suppose you found my glasses?”

“No sir.”

“Can you get me a replacement pair?”

“The computer systems with medical records are… not accessible.”

Craig suddenly took over his vocal cords, “Well, my eyes aren’t that bad for close work: get me a pair of strong reading glasses?”

_ Craig? _

_ The only reason I didn't fix your eyes before was that people would notice. Once you get into the system change your prescription to a milder one, cool? _

His vision cleared a great deal.

He worked on the computer as much as he could in between passing out. Craig said that no matter how much he repaired, the body needed rest and food… 

Craig talked them into letting him out, claiming they had pet cats at home- and besides the medical staff was stretched damn thin.

He got home and lied to the driver that he would stay put- they were all on high security of course.

_ I’m gonna have to go hunting.  _

_ I know Craig… how… would any of the other people have survived? Or did you… _

Craig’s voice in his head got a bit softer.  _ Some of them would have lived for a few minutes, or a few hours… healing you just… it was probably better for them. None of them would have lived for long… that's why i’m still hungry- there wasn't that much energy to use _ . Craig got a defensive tone and spoke out loud,, “i didn't eat any of the rescue people!”

“I appreciate it,” he sighed. “Can i… nap through the hunting?”

“Ok? But you usually worry about who I take out?”

“Rapists, murderers, people going out beating on people for fun…”

Craig nodded slowly, “yeah? You never mind those.”

“I… trust you, Craig… but I don't really want to watch.”

Craig took over and he fell into that twilight floating nothingness…

The last thing he heard was Craig muttering about checking to make sure he fixed that concussion.


	4. Peachy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q is now the Quartermaster, and then Bond returns

Craig must have had good hunting over the next several nights because every day he felt better. He was the youngest Quartermaster- acting or otherwise- in MI6 history, trying to rebuild in temporary facilities; his department was himself, the people who had been out for food, and the assorted engineers who had been in other facilities- like the garage out where the track was, or the air field.

Frankly the only reason he went home was to let Craig hunt- he could have stayed straight through 24/7 and still not been caught up on what needed doing.

He deliberately stayed asleep during the hunting, and tried not to worry. Craig assured him he was only taking out people who were problems, but… Craig’s judgement was always a bit odd. He forced his attention to stay on his work, trying to rebuild the systems, and getting to know these people. 

Some of the department heads were injured, and the ones who weren’t were dealing with losing their facilities and a lot of their people. The Quartermaster’s department was the hardest hit- partly because of the volatile chemicals and explosives stored there: one of the first orders was to develop secure storage so this didn't happen again. Since his department had lost the most people, rebuilding was especially difficult: some of his team were obviously traumatized, some not, but unfortunately- or fortunately in his case- as long as you were working no one had time to bother you about it. Everyone seemed to be of the same mind that work was the best therapy we had at the moment.

M officially promoted him to Quartermaster after a week.

After two weeks he was called in and told to meet and brief one of the Double O agents.

Q nodded, “he was out in the field i assume? I’ve seen many of them when they came in for equipment but-”

“You haven’t seen this one: it’s 007.” M’s voice softened JUST a hair when she said the number.

“Wasn’t he… ah… listed as deceased?” He seemed to recall some people saying that number was going to be reassigned.

“It wouldn’t be the first time that agent has been listed as dead, Quartermaster,” a corner of her lip quirked up, “He was recuperating- and likely sulking- and saw the reports of the explosion so he came back in.”

“You… sound fond of him, Ma’am?”

“It’s that obvious?” She made a ‘tcht!’ noise, “I’m quite off my game then: yes i am fond of the man: he’s a walking diplomatic disaster and you can generally track his progress by the trail of explosions, but he’s extremely good at what he does,” she nodded, “And he came back because we need him: get him equipped and don't let him talk you out of anything we don’t have spares of- he’ll destroy any equipment you give him- dismissed.”

Huh, THAT sounds interesting! Craig commented idly as Q put together the agents kit.

Privately Q thought it sounded fascinating but he simply went to the assigned meeting place and…

Both Craig and he reacted at the same time to catching their first sight of James Bond, but with noticeably different reactions: Q mostly thought he looked hurt, the way he was sitting slightly protective of his one side, and that he was a shorter smaller man than he’d been expecting; Craig, on the other hand, damn near licked his chops and started drooling.

Q tried to ignore the demon’s reactions- he would ask later- but it did make it hard to maintain a purely businesslike demeanor when Craig was LOUDLY thinking,  _ Oh you yummy yummy thing you, i just want to take you home and BITE you yes i do! _

Bond seemed to relax a bit after they’d been snarking at each other and… he had a nice smile. Q gave him the kit- didn't mention the few extras that were tucked in there for him to find- and went back to work.

Once he was home at the end of the day he finally had the time and attention to ask Craig, “ok, so WHAT was so bloody fascinating about Bond? You all but drooling on the man was NOT helping my concentration!”

“You should have been concentrating on getting that yummy fellow alone, and preferably alone HERE where i could just … Open the man up and crawl inside him!” Craig ‘sounded’ like sex and yet Q had the uneasy feeling that he might mean that literally.

“Craig… you are being disgusting again.”

“What? You just want to fuck him.” Craig snorted, “what a waste of that YUMMY life force… all… bruised and ripe… it's like a whatchamacallit… peach! I just want to bite right into it!”

Q remembered not many years ago when this would have sent him shivering into bed with a tranquilizer; now he just sighed and told Craig to take the equivalent of a demonic cold shower while he made tea.

Hopefully Bond would make it back form his mission alive and well, and then HOPEFULLY Q would have some time to get to know the man off duty, and then even MORE hopefully Craig would have calmed down enough that he could drag the man back to his bedroom without Craig scaring him off… or eating him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the same prompt as "Craig Moriarty didn't have the right ring to it" and the Tumblr Post is pictured in "Chapter 1" there.  
I admit to being slightly inspired by Only_1_Truth's various ficlets, including a very notable one where Q IS a demon, and one where Q is sacrificed to one...
> 
> as is usual in my "shuffle" series, this is not the same universe as the first story.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Bonded](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22644016) by [fabricdragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabricdragon/pseuds/fabricdragon)


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